Fathers Who Lead Their Family in Worship
Family Worship: Part 5
Last time, we mentioned ways to squelch Family Worship before it even gets going.
In the future, we’ll discuss even more roadblocks to watch out for, but there is one more heavy-duty thing that holds back Family Worship from reaching the heights that it could…
Lack of buy-in from Dad.
It is a much too common thing to find a Christian household with a father who is too lazy or distracted or uninterested in leading his family in the faith.
Maybe it’s been trumped by watching sports, or playing video games, or working at hobbies, or bringing work home, or exercising, or arguing about politics online. Whatever the reason, putting off one’s responsibility to lead your family in Family Worship is an easy and often-chosen option.
Each of these things can be good things. Our lives are crammed full of “good things”.
If a family waits until life gets “less busy”… if they don’t actively work to make room for religious things… they will find this phase of life called “parenting” to be over before they even get started, and your relationship with them will be forever changed.
Even when we keep it relatively short (which we should), Family Worship still requires some time. It still takes time out of our day in order to fit. There are lots of “easier” things we could be doing. There are a lot of “very-much-important” things we could be doing. But we need to prioritize our family and our faith.
Time is valuable. All good things require sacrifice. (Exercising and playing video games require time too, but they often still find their way into the schedule.) The growth of faith in ourselves and our children is worth a great deal of our time and energy. In our heads, we know this. But practicing religious tasks is less clear and less laid-out for us, and we seldom feel up to the task.
One Day Ahead
In teaching, there’s a common saying (more common and applicable for first-year teachers) which says (fully tongue in cheek, yet fully serious), “you just need to stay one day ahead of your students”.
Dear parents, you are much farther than “one day ahead” of your children in your knowledge of God. Even if you yourself are not as far down the road as you’d like to be. You have much knowledge and faith and wisdom that your children need!
Even if you are telling your children things that they already know, it is STILL vitally important that they hear it coming from you!
They need to know that their parents agree with their pastor.
They need to know that their parents agree with their teachers.
You are their role model and their prime example. You are the one who sets the expectations and directions of their lives, both explicitly and implicitly.
This is deeply true for the fathers of households.
The love and care and teaching of mothers has led countless little souls to a life of love for Christ as Lord. An active godly mother is a power beyond comprehension. Augustine is a quintessential example. Timothy another. God has used many faithful women to grow and build His church.
And yet still, nothing hinders the development of Christian children more than a father who neglects his duty.
Historically, the church has always skewed female. Men find many arrogant and self-adorning reasons to neglect religious devotion. The sinful nature of man hates bowing down before the one who actually deserves true obedience. Men want to be their own boss. They don’t want to give those reins to another.
But when a man, by the power of the Holy Spirit within in, finally grabs hold of the Christian life in Christ, finally submits himself to the King of kings and Lord of lords, that man’s true ability to succeed and build is finally fully awakened.
On Fathers
There are different statistics that get claimed concerning the influence that the father has on his family, even above that of the mother. The numbers are different, but the results are the same: Fathers hold the greatest influence on the faith of their children.
And while there is no human equation that will work without the direct intervention of the Holy Spirit, our God has committed Himself to working through families as a general rule.
“Know therefore that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations” (Deuteronomy 7:9)
Fathers are directly called to raise their children “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4)
Ephesians 6:4 highlights the crucial role fathers play in the spiritual upbringing of their children, instructing them to bring up their children "in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." Fathers are called to be spiritual leaders in their homes, guiding their families with wisdom and compassion. This responsibility involves teaching and modeling a Christ-centered life and fostering a nurturing environment where faith can grow.
But even more significant is the effect of a father’s neglect for his family’s faith.
This is especially devastating for sons.
When children see a father who attends church or family worship, but who visibly doesn’t want to be there, it teaches them that these things of God aren’t as important as other parts of life. When a father or mother misses family worship because of work, this too shows one’s priorities.
Regular, Active Attendance
There will be times when Family Worship is missed. Either by one person or by the whole family. Life happens. But the power of Family Worship is in its continuation, and long-term benefit of spiritual habit building. As such, parents should think hard about missing, and about the option of rescheduling Family Worship for that day.
If you know something is happening on Thursday evening of the upcoming week, perhaps you plan ahead that, on Thursday, Family Worship will need to happen in the morning. Just for that day.
When Dads miss worship on a regular basis, it is very noticed.
Kids are always wondering, “Are these things true? Are these things ‘worth it’? Do my parents actually take this stuff seriously?”
Building up faith is hard work. Tearing down faith is much easier.
If you roll your eyes every time your spouse says, “it’s time for devotions”, your kids will roll their eyes too. If you take it seriously and embrace it, there is a much greater chance that your children might as well.
Make it important. Work together.
It is a family affair.
“Hear, my son, your father's instruction,
and forsake not your mother's teaching,
for they are a graceful garland for your head
and pendants for your neck.” (Proverbs 1:8-9)